Unwarranted Self-Importance

In Other News

2011-11-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated this blog in a while. A lot has changed.

I've met another girl, and as the pain-memories of my previous relationship (and its rather tragic end) have softened, a new love has blossomed. She's really quite good to me, though I'm unsure why anyone would see me like she does. I suppose, to be fair, I myself have changed a great deal. I like to think I'm a lot more level headed and less volatile than I used to be... it's not that the fight has been taken out of me, more that my methods have changed. 2011 has taught me a lot, maybe too much. But I'm a little happier.

SOME THINGS I KNOW NOW

How to respond to my own needs more shrewdly and less self-destructively
Conflict can be resolved pretty easily most of the time by realizing what folly it is in the first place.
You only live so long, and you don't usually get to pick when you go, so you should really enjoy every moment you can.
It is OK to be weak. Pretty much everyone is, no matter how they seem or what they have to say about it.
In acknowledging weaknesses, I become stronger, because I know not to bring a knife to the proverbial gunfight.
Love is precious in all of its forms, and only a fool thinks he can live without some small amount of it in his life.
Surprising people with kindness and understanding is far more enjoyable to all involved than surprising them with cruelty and callousness.
If you take off at a run and bull-rush the things you fear, they're usually not too frightening for too long.
Death is a permanent, inevitable, and natural thing. We are not meant to love death, but to respect it and find a sort of peace in the fact that everything dies. It's not scary or depressing anymore.
Nothing is worth committing suicide over.

I'm still searching for further meaning in my life, but my creativity has filled in a lot of that hole. Music has been flowing from me again, as well as sculpture, writing, and all kinds of other forms of expression. The future for me is still uncertain, but I feel for once like one way or another, things will probably be OK.

John Carpenter's films and how they've affected me

2011-11-26T11:51:00.000-08:00

I've been a film fanatic since adolescence, especially science fiction, horror, and anything strange. There's numerous creators of this type of content who are worthy of acclaim for the excellent work they've put out, but among them, Carpenter has affected me perhaps the most personally.

The films made my John Carpenter in the 1970s and 1980s are perhaps some of the most burned-into-my-mind cultural images I can think of. I really think he hit a sort of peak in the early 80s, having found a great niche for himself in gritty action and science fiction. Escape From New York (1981) and They Live (1988) are two fantastic examples of Carpenter's unique, gritty, dark style really making the concept pop. In the former, we are almost immediately immersed in a possible (then) future where even the plastic bubble of American contentment has faded, where an enitre metropolis has been made into a prison and the world is on the brink of nuclear war. In They Live, we are shown, from an average man's view, a horrifyingly vast and covert conspiracy that is well in control of everything we know and recognize as life on Earth. Films like these impacted me deeply for several reasons. One is that Carpenter's "heroes" are NEVER dressed in white or completely morally clean. Snake Plissken is, well, Snake Plissken, and They Live's George Nada is a character only Roddy Piper could have portrayed so effectively - a brash, brawling drifter with a buried sense of humanity. However, Carpenter's protagonists are always "enough" to win the day... even if it is by the seat of their pants.

The choices of tone and lighting, the overall "feel" of the films, that is what cements them visually into my mind. While the production values have not always been class A, Carpenter always makes the most of it by uncompromisingly filming the way he sees it. New York City as a prison is a dim, filthy place, and a lot of conveying that has to do with how it was filmed. Films like The Thing (1982) and Prince of Darkness (1987) are appropriately... well... DARK. It starts visually, and then is galvanized by the writing and the other aspects of it... you feel trapped, even appropriately scared. The settings and shots aren't just planned, they seem SCHEMED. The pace is never too slow, always moving on at that perfect speed where you get all the basics the first time through and then want to watch the second time for details you missed. You'll also notice, finally, that whenever possible, Carpenter uses the same typefaces and color schemes for his title sequences. I can respect that, because it's another subtle way of putting your mark on something.

I feel I also have to mention that for several films, Carpenter wrote and performed the entire soundtrack. I find this in particular inspiring, since that is my plan.... should I ever finish these scripts and screenplays littering my hard drive.

This isn't an academic essay, I just felt like saying something about John Carpenter. I know he brought us Michael Myers, but I feel like a lot of his other early work is often overlooked.

Survival

2011-02-14T01:14:00.000-08:00

She died on the 5th. Loved her to death, I did. Died of H1N1 attacking her heart. She was so much younger than me. Seems unfair.

I am somehow still alive.

2011-01-01T14:57:00.000-08:00

Happy 2011 everyone. I rang in the new year by drunkenly howling near a roaring fire (and four children). No criminal charges were filed, I managed not to urinate on anything important, and my corpus, however loathsome, is still intact.

I made no real resolutions, but I have decided to do two things: knock off the cigarettes (which in essence I have already done) and move to Chatham County. Bobby and I are going to get some jobs or something, and we are going to rent a place in the woods and live like horrid beasts. I realize I've got to square away some bullshit (license, etc.), but I am happy enough to get some shit done now that I at least have an attainable goal.

Meanwhile, here's a public service announcement:

This message brought to you by me, pills, and a (not really) scared dog

Here's to a rad 2011.

some charts and graphs (science)

2010-12-29T15:22:00.000-08:00

Myself and my colleagues have been poring over some data we've collected, and I'd like to present it in visual form for your review and consideration.

First:

Observation: Clearly, people need to be having more sex to prevent fires.

Next we have:

Observation: Clear proof that our prison system is flooding and bloating like a tick.

Our third graph:

Observation: The Arab has replaced the Nazi. Only natural, I suppose.

Lastly:

Observation: They were called the "Roaring Twenties" because everyone was roaring in fear of Demons and aliens. Also, skeletons, through through sheer numbers, held more popularity than even the mightiest dragons.

I conclude this report by stating that these observations are baffling. It is truly a wondrous and strange world we live in.

New Years is Coming Up...

2010-12-29T14:55:00.000-08:00

and this is the only time I am going to say anything about it or even acknowledge it outside of its magical way of leading toxic beverages to my digestive tract.

Here's some observations:

Don't say you don't drink on New Years Eve. Not only is it untrue (what the fuck are you doing then), but it's just a horribly buzz-killing thing to say at a New Years party not sponsored by A.A. or a church.
If you end up taking some snaggly-ass stranger to bed that night, remember that THIS IS HOW YOU WILL BEGIN YOUR NEW YEAR. Have irresponsible sex with someone at least acceptable.
Tuxedo T-shirt. Just fucking do it.
If you so much as consider bringing your pre-adolescent child to a New Years party not sponsored by A.A. or a church, I hope they're cool. If they're not cool, they're gonna get schooled.
NEVER ASK BEFORE SPIKING ANY DRINKABLE LIQUID.

I plan to be out in the woods, somewhere in Chatham County, drunk, nude, and howling my ass off. I hope yours is just as fun.

So, A Blog, Then!

2010-12-29T14:41:00.000-08:00

I've made a blog before, but two things led me to abandon it:
(1) it was on WordPress, and WordPress is a piece of shit.
(2) I made it for too narrow of a purpose.

I will make neither of these mistakes this time. I will discuss whatever I want here, and if anyone wants to add their two cents, I guess that's OK too.

A little about me (the guy pressing keys and saying ideas): I live in North Carolina, real close to Raleigh. I am a human male containing approximately 220 pounds of bone and meat. I don't really fear death, but I fear pretty much everything else. I like animals because at least when they misbehave, I know it's because they're trapped in funny bodies. I recently discovered how rad licorice is when you really try to love it. I think the moon could crash into us at any moment, and I think that's really neat. I am 27 years old and the only meaningful things I have done with my life so far are drink legendary amounts of alcohol and spawn a child.

I'm doing this mostly for my own benefit. I'm doing it in a semi-public space so that if anyone really wants to read it, they can jump right in and see what a wreck I am. I don't say "wreck" in a cool, Iggy Pop sort of way, or even a semi-cool Dee Dee Ramone sort of way. Think somewhere between Amy Winehouse and pre-mortem Dudley Moore. I still bet Winehouse has better tits than me, although mine are sadly bigger.

Things you might see me write about on here: B-Horror films, film in general, the toy industry (I know what manchildren want), anything I find interesting or funny, and stuff I came up with that I think is funny but might be a crapshoot for you.

Thanks. (who the fuck am I thanking)